by Charles George
Resilience takes courage. But with resilience, the idea is to bounce back higher than before. This is not always easy to do.
Here are five lessons about resilience that I learned from my son, Thomas.
My son was born with congenital heart disease (CHD). His heart did not form correctly in utero.
One out of 100 babies are born with CHD, or roughly 40,000 babies a year.
For him to have a chance at life, he needed three heart surgeries in the first three years of his life.
Yesterday marks eight years since my three-year-old son, Thomas, died.
I’ve never been more completely devastated than on this day and the weeks and months following.
July and the days in August leading up to the 3rd are always super emotional.
Not easy days.
During these couple of weeks each year, I try to focus on the joys and memories and celebrating his life, instead of focusing on missing him.
Definitely not easy because they both go hand in hand.
Grief is the other side of love.
Every day, I miss the little guy.
I miss the joy he brought and the responsibility of being his Dad.
I miss seeing him grow and develop and overcome all his challenges.
Now, even though he is not here physically, I still learn from him.
I will always be grateful for his life.
So today, I’m going to share lessons I’ve learned from Thomas, during the three short years he was here, plus, how he continues to impact me and change my perception today.
Today’s article focuses on resilience and applying these lessons to our lives and business.
These are lessons I learned from Thomas, along with lessons I learned in the last eight years.
1. Perceptions of Failure
My view of failure is really there is no failure.
Things can go wrong and not as planned, but as long as we are learning, growing, and applying what we learn, failures can often lead to our biggest breakthroughs.
Plus, failure allows us to begin again, but with more information.
Failure allows us to continue to improve and get better.
To me, that’s still winning.
Somehow, Thomas dying did not fit this core belief.
I couldn’t fix it or change it, or bring him back. The finality of it all.
We all knew the risks of the three heart surgeries, but the third surgery was supposed to be the easiest of the three. We were told, after this surgery, families get their lives back.
Thomas dying challenged this core belief of mine about failure.
I struggled with this concept for so long, but ultimately, it is my faith in knowing one day I will see him again, that helped me shift my perspective.
Also, I realize he will still be a bigger part of my future than my past.
The impact this little boy made on me continues to this day.
He changed my life in so many ways for the better.
I will always be grateful for him and cherish every moment we had together.
2. Resilience
Once, someone asked me if child loss gets easier with time.
My response was, “I don’t correlate the words child loss and easy together. The grief changes over time, but child loss is not easy.”
I’ve learned to live without Thomas being physically present because his spirit is always with me.
But there is not any aspect of Thomas dying that is easy.
His death challenged my internal fortitude in more ways than I could imagine.
Resilience often involves turning negative situations into positive outcomes.
It’s bouncing back higher.
It’s about serving others, and the act of serving others leads to our own growth and resilience.
Thomas faced insurmountable odds but found ways to overcome each obstacle and thrive.
Even in the very last moments of his life, death couldn’t steal his smile. That’s resilience.
3. Owning a business is the ultimate self-growth tool
After Thomas died, I quickly became aware of the amount of energy it requires to own a business.
This is something I always took for granted.
It forced me to prioritize the most important things each day.
I realized that it was going to take time to heal and regain my energy.
Today, I still use these time management skills to focus on what’s most important.
I believe owning a business is the ultimate self-growth tool.
Our business grows to our capacity.
The more we invest in personal growth, developing ourselves, learning new skills, and from others, then the more our businesses can grow.
It’s learning how to win, and expanding our knowledge, skills, and abilities to increase our capacity to serve more people and win more.
4. Persistence – Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome
Thomas taught me a lot about improvise, adapt and overcome.
He faced so many challenges, like class A drugs, needle sticks, procedures, and
long hospitals stays, yet he loved life.
He laughed a lot and loved people.
When we would eat at a restaurant, before we would leave, he would go to each table and bring a smile to everyone’s face by saying, “Hi, happy to see you.”
He high-fived and fist-bumped everyone he met.
As much as Thomas understood pain, he loved life.
One of my favorite things was to hear him laugh. Knowing all he had been through, but his infectious laugh, brought my heart so much joy.
I loved seeing how much Thomas enjoyed life.
He taught me about improvise, adapt, and overcome in extraordinary ways.
5. Life’s Greatest Gift
Throughout my life, I have been driven by my passions and what I enjoy.
At each stage of my life, I have turned these passions into a business.
Today, this involves the clients I choose to work with, what drives me, sharing my interests, and what I am currently learning, along with sharing my knowledge, skills, and expertise.
The greatest gift I have received is the love between a father and son. I had this type of relationship with my Dad. Because of Thomas, I got to experience this type of love as a father. The unconditional love between a parent and child is life’s greatest gift.
Shifting Perspectives
Often the biggest bottlenecks of growth in business and life are our own limitations. Thomas dying forced me to shift my perspectives. It challenged me to identify limiting beliefs and what is possible. It made me explore new ways of thinking. Plus, I discovered different ways to serve others. Ultimately, it strengthened my faith, and that’s a blessing.
It’s still not easy, but I will always be grateful.
Leave a Reply