by Charles George
One of my core beliefs is there are no failures.
Maybe this comes from being in direct marketing for nearly 20 years.
With a marketing campaign, we can research, plan, and do our best to eliminate risk to ensure positive results. But sometimes, marketing campaigns still do not generate the results we anticipated.
In these situations, the opportunity is to learn, and then we can begin again with more information. It’s the incremental improvements that lead to big wins and huge successes.
This perspective of “there is no failure, only opportunity” has been a core belief of mine for as long as I can remember.
You either achieve the result, or you get to begin again with more information. There is no failure.
Because of this belief, I often think life is a series of situations and opportunities. No matter the situation, there are almost always opportunities. Sometimes it requires us to shift our perspective and notice the silver lining. But often, there is good in almost every situation.
Applying This Thought Process to My Most Difficult Challenge
The most difficult challenge, where I had to apply this thought process of never failing, is with my son. Thomas was born with congenital heart disease and died when he was three years old from complications from his third heart surgery. Him dying was not part of my plan.
He overcame the odds in so many circumstances. His 3rd heart surgery was supposed to be the easiest of the three. The third heart surgery is supposed to be when kids thrive and families get to resume somewhat of a normal life. Yet there we were, Thomas with complications from this heart surgery that he could not overcome.
When he died, I was completely devastated in every way.
Losing my son was the lowest feeling that I could never imagine.
He represented the opportunity to experience a similar relationship as I had with my father, except this time, I got to be the dad.
Somehow my view of failure didn’t fit this situation. I couldn’t start again and apply what I learned, improve, and make everything better.
I couldn’t fix the problem and bring my son back.
Now it has been over 6 years since his death, and I realize the life lessons Thomas taught me.
- I understand improvise, adapt, and overcome in more profound ways than ever before
- Those three years with my son were the best three years of my life
- Most importantly, I did get to experience the love between and a father and son from a dad’s perspective. (Life’s greatest gift.)
The years I had with my son brought immense joy. They were three of the most challenging years of my life, but the most rewarding.
Focus on the Blessings
After my son died, during a conversation with my wife, I told her, “Thomas will still be a bigger part of our future than our past.”
This thought, this seed of an idea, has been a golden thread woven throughout both of our lives. One reason is to continue to honor our son but, more importantly, to serve people going through similar situations.
A couple of months after Thomas’ death, I partnered with the Ronald McDonald House of Charlottesville, Virginia, to launch a podcast. The podcast’s purpose is to help families with critically ill or injured children.
By interviewing families with sick and injured children, doctors, nurses, support staff, and other people involved with caring for the child provided a resource for other families with sick or injured children who are somewhere along the journey.
As we were launching the podcast, the Executive Director, Rita Ralston, asked me if we could feature Thomas as the face of the podcast. I was honored. I was so focused on using my marketing skills to build a resource to help families I hadn’t even considered Thomas being the face of the podcast. By focusing on helping others, it led to an opportunity to honor my son.
More Opportunities to Serve
David Hancock, who owns Morgan James Publishing, is writing a new book on the impact of giving. He needed another interview from someone with a non-profit’s perspective. I immediately connected him with Rita.
This led to both Rita and I being interviewed for the book. She shared the view of the Ronald McDonald House and I shared the parent’s perspective. This created another unexpected opportunity to tell more people about the Ronald McDonald House and share my son’s story.
During our conversations with Rita, David visited the website of the Ronald McDonald in Charlottesville and noticed a library at their house. He immediately offered to sponsor the library. The library’s purpose is to provide families with books to read while they are enduring the stress of having a sick child in the hospital. David offered to stock the library with books that are free for the parents. (Another act of giving.)
Friday, October 29 was the grand opening of the new Morgan James Library at the Ronald McDonald House. Rita and David both surprised me. The new library sign says The Morgan James Library in memory of Thomas George.
Again, I was honored. Now, my son’s smile and his picture will welcome other parents as they visit the library. It’s another wonderful example of how serving others without expectations led to another opportunity to honor my son.
Leading with a Servant’s Heart
Since my son died, I have done my best to create opportunities to lead with a servant’s heart to help other families going through similar situations.
I’m grateful for David for also leading with this same perspective on giving and serving others.
I’m grateful for Rita and her work at the Ronald McDonald House in Charlottesville, Virginia, to help families enduring unbelievable stress while their child is critically ill in the hospital.
Finally, I want to share another core belief of mine. It is not what happens to you in life that determines the outcome but how you respond to the situations and events that happen to you.
The outcome of your life has more to do with how you impact others and how you choose to serve other people than the actual events.
It is the decisions we make based on the events and things that happen to us. Not the actual events themselves that determine the outcomes of our lives.
As for me, I will continue to lead with a servant’s heart. I will continue to lead by giving first. And I will always look for opportunities to serve other people.
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